Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Feeling like a big fat failure...

We went for Aidan's 4 month appointment this morning. Aidan squeaked in at 10lbs. She has dropped off her growth chart. Dr. Stephens had to give me a little tough love and say that it's time to switch to formula. She needs to gain weight and my milk supply is getting worse and I was still having to use a shield. Despite pumping and fenugreek I'm barely able to get 2 ounces. The dr. thinks that with the stress of work and school and pumping like crazy that my body just couldn't keep up. The most important thing is for Aidan to be healthy. Dr. Stephens wants her up to 14lbs by Christmas.

I know I've given it all I have but it's so hard not to feel guilty. I wanted everyone to know so they don't think it's weird when they see me not nursing. It's odd because I know that I don't think less of a mother who's bottle feeding but I somehow think less of myself. I just never thought it would be an issue.

Anyways enough doom and gloom, Aidan will be fine and so will I. So anyone have any formula suggestions? We've been using the Similac ready to feed kind to supplement but it's sooo expensive. I've only tried powder once and Aidan was not a fan.


Christi Stark said...

We use Enfamil with Lipil and really like it. Target has the best deal on it (at least in Abilene).There are also some travel 4oz packages that are great for if you're on the road.

Nursing didn't work out for us at all - the lactation consultant tried to help at the hospital but she ended up just telling me to pump... which I've been doing for 2 months now, but it's gotten to the point that Jackson is eating primarily formula and being supplemented with breast milk. Not what I had planned before he was born, but it works.

Tara Hobbs said...

Dara - we used Nestle Goodstart and Kadence did well with the switch. You can get on their website and register for $5-10 checks to help pay for it. Also, if you call Dr. STephens office and ask they will give your 4-5 cans. We also liked Nestle because it didn't foam like the other formulas.
And you did a great job giving Aidan 4 months of breast milk!! For some of us nursing a whole year like we would like just doesn't work out.

Tara Hobbs said...

For a while I still nursed 3 or times a day and usually still had to supplement about 4 ounces afterwards. I definetly nursed first thing when she woke up b/c that was when I was the fullest. Then maybe skip a feeding and give yourself time to replinish. Then I always gave her formula right before bed so that she was nice and full for bedtime. Good luck!! Let me know what kind of formula you decide on - I have a few coupons that you could have.

Summer Lashley said...

Don't think of this as a set back. Think of this as your freedom! You can have your body back and your child will still be just as healthy, I promise.

myra said...

Hi Dara!
I found your blog from Tamra's. I went through the exact same thing with my daughter, Morgandy. I know it's so hard when you have done everything you possibly can to nurse them and it just doesn't work. All the effort you put into that wasn't for nothing and shows what a great mom you are.
When we finally went to formula (we used Enfamil w/ Lipil - you can register online for coupons) it was freeing not to be a slave to the pump and to get rid of that annoying shield. And it was nice to be able to feed Morgandy wherever and whenever I needed to. Morgandy is almost a year now, I don't think anyone can tell whether she was breast fed or formula fed today.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tara,
I found your blog when I was reading Summer's..anyway...I know just how you feel about nursing. I had the same problem with Karli. She wasn't gaining much weight in the beginning so I had to begin supplementing by 3 months. I was heartbroken and also felt like a failure, but in the end it all worked out fine. Just know you tried your hardest and she will be just as healthy this way. Like Tara commented...We also used Nestle Goodstart---Dr. Stephens gave us samples and we (and Karli) liked it best.
Good luck and feel free to contact me further if you need someone to talk to!
Lisa Bialon